why?

sometimes, i want to write things on here that truly express my heart and deepest feelings but i can't. so i am questioning things right now. this will suffice.

i don't understand why some people are the way they are.

why do people go after things that are unatainable and continue to set themselves up for heartache and failure?

why does your heart and mind tell you different things?

why is it that when you want something so bad it has to take time before it happens?

why are people's priorities mixed up?

why do i feel the way i feel right now?

why do i feel like i'm in my own reality right now?

why can't i snap back into the real world and get back into where i am going with my life?

why does my mind continue to wander and think about people and things i should not be thinking about?

why do i feel all alone when i know there are so many people that care about me?

why do i feel like something is missing in my life?

why do i continue to do things that lead me to feel the way i feel when i know they are going to make me feel this way?

why do i care so deeply about people when they don't care about me as much?

slowly trying to figure out the answers to some of these questions. i may never get them all answered which is ok. things just are the way they are. so thankful i'm grounded enough to not worry about all this all the time. looking for a change and ready for that change....hopefully it's right around the corner. i'll keep my fingers crossed...

Fall Festival Weekend!

after having 3 requests asking me to blog this weekend, i think i will do so now. i have a problem though. i run my mouth and can talk about anything until the cows come home but when i sit down to type something i go blank because i can't figure out what to post. i guess i will write about my weekend.

i am currently at home in the big town of granite falls sitting on my parents front porch swing enjoying this beautiful fall morning listening to chase face snore:) and christian music because i didn't go to church this morning. my heart just wasn't wanting to go to my old church. some people may think that is a horrible thing and you should always go to church but i believe i have had more of an awesome morning with God than i would have had at church.

i could sit on this swing all day and never grow tired. i'm listening to the song "mighty to save." one of the lines in the song is "Savior, He can move the mountains." it's so amazing to me as i think back over this past year at how God has completely moved mountains in my life and has transformed me throughout. i cannot give enough thanks and praise!

on to my weekend...
i came home this weekend to visit the family and all my friends because it's that time of year again! what time of year you may ask???? FALL FESTIVALS!!! that's right...the molasses festival out in the small country town of dudley shoals and the oktoberfest in the hkwheezy! chase face and i got in friday around 6:30 pm then my dad, mom, brother, sister and i went to red lobster to celebrate alex's birthday. red lobster has their endless shrimp special right now so we got there around 7ish and stayed for 2 hours! we had a wonderful time. it was so great to be able to spend time with all of them and laugh and cut up like we always do when we get together. i miss them. i would tell you how much shrimp we ate but then that would reveal that we eat a lot so i wont :) after red lobster i went over to where anna is house sitting and i got to hang out with some people that i haven't seen in a while. i was delighted.

i got up saturday morning and helped my dad mow the yard. i didn't ride the lawn mower but i push mowed the yard! that's right. now i am sore and i actually think i pulled a muscle or bruised my hand. all i know is it is tender. i skipped the molasses festival and went shopping with melody and cathi! i said cathi! that's still weird for me. oh well! we went to starbucks to meet melody's dad to give him some books. he didn't have his key to unlock the door. the window was slightly cracked so melody goes searching in her trunk to find something to be able to reach in and unlock the door. sure enough, she found something. i have no clue what it was. it looked like a white piece of metal that goes to some piece of furniture. she's opening up her own business next month. she says she will unlock your doors for 10 bucks. sounds like a good deal to me! after shopping, i came home and took a nap because i was pooped. i think from all that mowing plus i was awake at 7:30 because i'm old now and can't sleep in anymore. after the nap, i went over to anna's then met up with melody, justin, chris, lauren and 15 billion other people that i haven't seen in a decade and we all made our way downtown for oktoberfest! all i have to say about that is good times! it was great seeing everyone. then we ended up going to hams to get some pub chips because melody and i were still hungry. we also were forced to listen to some guy ruin abunch of really good songs. but hey, he's just starting out....in hickory....at hams.....enough said. after hams, i went home and went to bed then got up this morning and enjoyed a fresh cinnamon bun and glass of milk for breakfast. my mom's the best.....not just for making cinnamon buns but because she is making HAM for lunch! my stomach just growled as i said HAM...it did it again! i'll stop teasing myself. so here i am waiting for the p-unit (parentals) to come home from church so we can eat. then alex and i will get on the road and head back to raleigh/cary where i will go straight to huddles. then maybe i can talk my fabulous roommate into going to ihop. i'm really craving some pancakes or an omelette or maybe both:)

also, i would like to add that kevin's cat "gravy" is a witch! she's scary and will randomly attack and claw you for no reason. after seeing everyone provoke her to anger this weekend, no wonder she acts the way she does. no one messes with her in her domain!

until next time....LATA!

SHUT UP! I'M ON MY PERIOD!!!!!!!

so according to a couple of my dearest friends, i always get emotional, freak out, and my mind starts going into overanalyzing everything once a month. so after a tearful and emotional week or so i am telling my mind to "SHUT UP!!!!" thank you for that realization. will this happen again? yes but until next month when you come back around, i will remain optimistic.

Seeing, Understanding, and Changing

As I sit here and think, I am so amazed by God's love for me and His faithfulness. I cannot get over how He is moving in my heart and in my life. I have prayed for a more intimate relationship with Him and a deeper understanding of who He is. I have prayed this for so long. I finally figured out how to go about doing this. First, it takes time. Second, it requires me to be disciplined. To get in the Bible, pray constantly and meditate on Him each day consistently. It seems so hard at first. To think, seriously, how can one think about God all the time? It seems boring. But, I have discovered new life. I have discovered God is not boring. He has shown me things that I would have never seen before if I was not keeping my eyes on Him. It was a challenge for me to really dive in to the Word because I was afraid I would not get anything out of it. I was afraid that He would not come through for me like He does everyone else. But, I did not listen to those thoughts. I believed that if I went to Him with everything that I am, He would meet me and be faithful. Over the past few weeks, every day I learn something new. Whether it is about myself, about Him, about a promise He has promised me or something that is not spriritually related at all, I am learning new things. He is opening my eyes to see things I have never seen before. Sometimes it hurts and is painful. Especially to see my flaws and weaknesses. But that is what I want to see. He is answering my prayers by changing me on the inside and outside. It excites me to know that I am developing a closer walk with God- the Creator of the universe! He is so big, great, powerful, and sovereign yet He chooses every day to be with me because He loves me that much. Life doesn't get sweeter than that. "Many are called but few are chosen." I am chosen by God and so grateful. I will run this race no matter how narrow, long or difficult the road of life is. As long as I abide in Him and keep my eyes fixated on Jesus Christ, I will make it and get to where I am going.

The Night of the Fly

What is one of the most annoying sounds that could keep you from falling asleep at night when you so desperately want and need to sleep???? Anyone? yes, that is right! a FLY! Oh my goodness. Last night, I was exhausted and turned my light out. As soon as I did the sound began. Yes the fly was moving about furiously throughout my room. I jumped out of the bed and turned the light on looking for something to kill it with. I grabbed a flip flop. What else could work better right? I moved slowly and quietly across my room and realized it was on my nightstand. I spotted it. It was on the lamp. I rared back and BOOM! I missed. I started swarming around everywhere. It landed. BOOM 2! I missed. I lost it. I retreat. Turn my light out and go back to bed. A few minutes later. It returned. I jumped up and tried again with the same flip flop. This time I was chasing it around my room swatting at it. I could hear it laughing at me and taunting me saying, "You can't catch me!" He was right. I lost him again. I turned the lights out and went back to bed. Once again, I heard him. I thought I need something different. I walked out to the kitchen where there happened to be a fly swatter on the refrigerator. I grabbed it and marched back to my mission. He was on my nightstand once again. I whispered, "One, two, three..." then BOOM! It's a hit! But it fell. I looked behind my nightstand and didn't see it. I thought well it's dead for now. I'll find it later. I turned my lights out and went back to bed. I was almost asleep and then he returned! He was alive! I jumped out of bed, turned on the light, grabbed the fly swatter, spotted the little turd, stormed over to the nightstand and BOOM!!! I GOT HIM!!!! I was ecstatic. I could now sleep peacefully. This time I picked him up and flushed him down the toilet. No more fly! Mission accomplished.

Today, I went to the lake to exercise and pray. I have been reading this book on how to meditate and focus on God. I discovered yesterday there is no possible way I could sit in complete solitude and silence with just my thoughts for hours actually not even minutes. I start to go crazy. Maybe my mind is not disciplined enough but I really think I just have ADD. So speaking of ADD, back to the lake. I sat down at a table and started to write. As I sat there I prayed that God would clear my mind so that I can focus completely on Him and really hear what He says to me rather than me always doing the talking. I closed my eyes and just sat there. As I'm sitting my mind starts to hear noises. Remember, I'm in the woods. Then a warm breeze blows that is so refreshing. I start to listen to all the noises, dogs barking, leaves raking across the sidewalk, squirrels moving in the woods, people laughing in the background, a baby crying, birds singing, the trees moving as the wind blows. As I sit there I am so aware of how God created all those noises which then leads me to think that He created everything to bring Him glory. God then begins to remind me more and more that I am here for a greater purpose and I am in the middle of walking it out right now. That the things of this world that trip me up, that cause me to stumble, that overtake my thoughts have no control over me and they don't matter because I belong to God and God made me to bring Him glory. How exciting is that? So thankful I have that assurance and that peace.

I would like to give a shout out to my biggest fan on blogspot.com. Today is her birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEFANIE RAE JOHNSON!!!! YOU ROCK:) 25 more years together and we will be racing each other around the nursing homes in our motor scooters!

A Prayer and a Promise

It's been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there

The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name
You just call My name

Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name

The love I have for you is so alive
The love I have for you is so alive
You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name

We can fool ourselves for living a life and then wake up one day and realize we haven't even started living the life we were meant to live yet. What if you fell in love with 3 people at the same time? Is that possible? Does that mean you are a whore or does that mean you just have a big heart? And what if you were in love with someone or atleast thought you were and spend every day running away from the fact that you knew it was going to eventually end? Isn't that bull POOP?!?! What if you spent your days falling in love with one person and spent your nights dreaming about others? Who else likes one person one minute because they are with them and the next day decides they like someone else because they talked to them and then realizes they should only have feelings for the one they are with because they are with them? What if you were clueless and you didn't know what you wanted? But you did know you hate yourself for breaking hearts and leading people on even though at the time you weren't leading them on because you thought it was what you wanted. What if you could be free, start over and live the life you were born to live? And be ok with not knowing who you were going to live it with but just know that you were going to live?

WHAT IF.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!:)

Today is a gift!

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Blah

I have sat here staring at this page trying to figure out what to say but the words just won't seem to come. My heart is heavy and my mind is racing with thoughts that are so jumbled, I can't even seem to weed through them all to figure out what I am feeling right now. It's just weird- a weird feeling. I don't know what it means.

Have you ever wondered if the people you care about most care about you as much as you do them? I think that sometimes especially recently.

Why am I THAT person?

Can't seem to be getting anywhere right now. The juices for writing are not flowing at the moment.

"out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

Have you ever lacked motivation in your life? Have you ever felt weak in areas you wished you were strong? Today is the day for that change. Today is the day your lack of motivation can transpire into zest, zeal, energy, and intensity. Today is the day your weakness begins to transform into strength. How? Ask yourself these questions. Am I capable? Do I have a mind? Am I strong? You should answer yes to each of these. Why? God equipped you with the ability to fuction in this world and to succeed at the desires He has placed in your heart for your life. He has given you your mind to think and make the choice as to whether or not you are going to pursue the desires in your life or think you are not adequate enough. You are strong because the Bible clearly states, "I can do all things in Christ who STRENGTHENS me."

When arriving at the crossroads of can and cannot, choose the roadsign that says "Can." Do not underestimate your abilities, talents, and gifts. Take it a step further and do not underestimate God's abilities. God has you where those roads meet. Instead of looking at your weaknesses, look at God's strengths. He will direct your steps. Aim high in life. When you fail- and you are going to fail- learn from it. Do not fall into self pity. Do not think, "Woe is me." Do not think, "Why do I have to go through this?" Think positively. Look at this failure as an opportunity to grow, to learn, to correct your mindset and thinking, and to redirect your steps. You might be going in the right direction but just needed a tweak in your steps. Each failure, each dissappointment, each tough circumstance is an opportunity to really see your character, to see what your made of, and to see where your hope lies.

Where does your hope lie?

Last night, I went home for Father's Day. We did the usual, get up early, well actually I got up extra early to go exercise with my mom so GO ME!!! after the workout, we got ready and went to church. There was a guest preacher at the very small country church my parents go to. He was great and I really got a lot out of what God was speaking through him. after church, we went back to the parentals house and then the party started! the whole family started slowly trickling in and things started getting fun. we were having a cookout so my dad was out grilling in the side yard. he had 2 grills going with 8 hamburgers on each. my mom happened to be out there giving him a dish to put the food in and my aunt and uncle were out there just conversating. why was i there? i don't know. i pretty much just wandered from group to group so I can talk to everyone since i don't get to see them that often. anyway, as we were standing there, the charcoal in one of the grills started catching on fire and my dad starts saying, "oh no that's not supposed to happen!" then he realized the grill was falling apart because it was broken. my genius of an uncle thought he had a genius of an idea to put a brick on the grill to hold the hamburgers up. i looked at my mom and said, "seriously? that is going to fall!" then right after i said that, the grill started collapsing and the hamburgers started to fall. my dad has awesome reflexes because he reached down with his hamburger flipper and tongs and saved the rack! it was amazing! then my genius of an uncle had another genius of an idea. he decided to get 2 cement blocks so my dad could set the rack and the grill on them. so yeah basically, it was one of those moments where you say you might be a redneck if...... oh but i love it!

The Race

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to participate in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for breast cancer. What an experience that was! There were thousands of people there united together for one great cause. There were people encouraging complete strangers on by cheering and clapping for them to finish their run and make it to the finish line without giving up. It totally made me feel good about being a part of such a great cause. Stef and I were thinking if there are this many people out for this, how awesome would it be if we could do some type of race for God?? Close down parts of downtown Raleigh and do a race that shows we are in the race of our lives living for Jesus Christ and aiming for the prize! I would definitely run more for that race!

back to my weekend escapades at home with the family. first though, i would like to take the time to describe my family so that in the future when i reference anyone, you will know who i am talking about. i'll start with the parentals. my mother and father (aka mama and daddy) (aka mama bear and papa bear). yeah that's right, anna and i get a little carried away with nicknames sometimes. my mom, well, she's amazing. she's a bit of a perfectionist. she will go out of her way to help anyone. she is warm and very caring. she's a bit overbearing at times but only because she cares. she is quiet but will tell you like it is whether you want to hear it or not. pretty much, all i inherited from my mom is my fro, discernment, strong will and indepedence. now to my dad. my dad is outgoing, extremely talkative, hilarious and extremely kind. he has a big heart. my dad and i are alot a like when it comes to our personalities. i think i inherited my sense of humor and acceptance of others from him. moving on to my sister. dear anna (aka my sissy poo). anna is sweet, extremely fun to be around, and is always getting into something. don't mess with her. that's all i'll say about that :) then there's my brother. alex precious alex. he's got a temper but he is always willing to lend a hand and help wherever he can. he is extremely bright and intelligent and is going to do great things with his life. i am so proud of him for graduating this past weekend and for choosing to go to NCSU this fall! woohoo! now let's take all of us and put us together and you have my family! we can be loud but NOT obnoxious. we love to laugh. we find humor in every little thing from making fun of alex which has become a full time job when i'm home to rolling our eyes at our mom when she still yells at us to go wash our hands in the bathroom rather the kitchen as my dad sits on the couch and reads trying to ignore all the chaos that is going on around the house. you would think that if we are all adults then our house would not be crazy but it is. and apparently, it's because of me. everytime i go home, they always say, "well you can tell she's back. everything's all lively and animated." well i'm proud to say that i'm thankful i bring that to my family. that they look to me to make them happy and make them laugh. there are numerous stories i could tell you about this weekend with the family, ranging from alex almost backing into a car after his baccalaureate service and my mom flying out of nowhere to hit the car as hard as she could which almost caused alex to poo his pants. or how about the fact that my whole entire family (exteded family included) were the loudest ones at the graduation and were told to "shhhh" several times. how rude is that? we were there celebrating and we were happy! that's not wrong. i don't think the lady liked the glare i gave her. she smiled and looked away. i think she started shaking she was so scared. i mean, you combine the forces of my sister and me and we make one kickbutt team! oh then there's the night at baccalaureate when you would think anna being 22 and i being 24 would be mature enough not to cut up and laugh at stupid stuff but act dignified. well, we may be getting older but we are still sisters who will forever be young at heart. i could continue but it would take way too long. i want to end with saying, i love my family deeply. they have given me my backbone and have helped shape me into the woman i am today. there is nothing like going home and spending time with the people God gave to you as a family. being accepted unconditionally is a great feeling. they make me happy and i love laughing. i will laugh about anything and everything until the day i die.

exhausted!

just got back in town from visiting family for my little bro and little cousins high school graduation. well they're not that little anymore. i am so proud of them! i would post pictures but the camera died on me at the graduation so i can't. even if i did have pictures i probably would not post them because i am technologically impaired and impatient so i don't like taking the time to do stuff like that. i also visited my best friend melody in charlotte along with some of my old posse from the hk weezy! wow what a great weekend! i am happy to be back however. i am completely exhausted and going to bed so i will be posting more stories about this weekend soon! so please stay tuned. before i go, i would like to say that i love my home. i love where i live and i love who i live with :) i also love the fact that my roomie has awesome taste in furniture because our living room pretty much rocks! we have better furniture than you!! haha ok that was childish. i also love the fact my bed was made for the first time in several months along with one of the sweetest notes ever and to top it off a little packet of sweet tarts!

taking it back

have you ever listened to a song that flooded your mind with memories? a song that reminded you of people you care most about? a song that reminds you of a place that makes you happy and puts a smile on your face? i love experiencing moments like this. tonight, i experienced several songs that took me back to a place that made me smile and reminded me of a past that parts of me wished were still part of. when we are in situations in our lives, sometimes we think if we can just move on and get past all of this life will be good. then when we get past it, we think wow, we had it so good and we never realized how great things were and how wonderful the people around us were and what they would mean to us. a year ago, i thought things were difficult and i just wanted changes in my life. the problems and situations around me stressed me out and parts of me needed something different. now that i'm looking back on it, it really was not that bad and i truly miss everything that was going on. i miss the people that were around me all the time. they made me laugh and i had an awesome time with them always! i miss that and i miss them. i guess i shoud live in the moment and live it up so that i don't look back on any point in my life with any regrets!

i decided last night that i am going to create a blog that allows you to speak everything rather than type. this is for those people who can't write very well. for example, me. i don't think this has been invented but if so then disregard. but if it's not and i find out one of my friends invented it and gets all the money for it then i will sue! and i will have proof from this blog that you stole my idea! enough said. i'm frustrated. goodnight.

i am amazed at how quickly God can answer prayers especially when you need to hear from Him the most. i won't go into any detail, but i know that after today He's got me. My heart is spoken for and i can be completely satisfied in Him. in Him is where i find true joy, peace, and contentment. people search their whole lives for this and try to find it in temporary pleasures. that's what i try to do sometimes. i think other people may have it better off than I do but really they're in bondage and can't climb out of the pit their in. i however, live for Someone. Someone that's eternal and has already defeated my sin and has set me free! how awesome and powerful that realization is! when you truly grasp who you are in Christ and that your only purpose for living is to serve and live for Him then it changes your whole outlook and perspective on life. i know when i am living this out, my eyes are not focused on myself and i'm not looking to myself to make it through situations but my eyes are fixated on Christ-the one I have surrendered my life to and has completely control and authority over me. sometimes, i think i can't overcome obstacles and temptations because i am so weak but i am doubting what God can do in me. with Him, whatever the problem is, i can overcome it!

as i continue to live out my walk with Christ, i pray that my life will become more and more transparent each day. i pray that i can remember these truths and remember who i am in Christ and where He is taking me. i pray that i can pour into other people's lives the blessings, knowledge, and truths He has shown me. by doing this i want to honor God and make Him smile :)

there is a verse that totally penetrated my heart and awoke my spirit the other day. it is in Romans 11- the message.

Everything comes from Him,
Everything happens through Him,
Everything ends up in Him,
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

what beautiful words describing a life in Christ. knowing that it's all about Him and that no matter what happens we should always praise Him!

rocky, mushrooms, and onions

today was a lazy saturday. i woke up, went to the coffee shop and was planning on going to the lake but had to rush back to the apartment for various reasons. needless to say, i didn't make it to the lake. so, i turned on the tv and what was on? ROCKY!!! a rocky marathon all day! this brightened my day. so what did i do all day? i was parked on the couch. didn't move except for occasionally letting chase face out on the porch to eat or bark at the passing dogs.

i started getting hungry this evening so i called my good friend deana marie. we decided to go to crazy fire. it's this restaurant where you get a bowl, put your raw meat, vegetables, and blended sauces in it then the chefs cook it all together on this huge round stove. don't know the word for that. so i'm sure you all know what i'm referring to. the thing i hate about these restaurants are the little bowls they give you. i was thinking you get charged for every bowl you get so i thought this time i would pile as much food on mine as i could. i started with the meat. for those who don't know me very well, i crave meat. yes it sounds barbaric but i do. i got some chicken, beef, sausage, calamari, scallops, and crab meat. surprisingly, i bipassed the ham! whoa! then i added some noodles. by this time my bowl was already about to overflow but i really really really wanted some mushrooms and onions. i got the mushrooms packed on there but the onions kept falling. i finally got the onions strategically placed on top of the noodles so they would stay balanced and not fall. i slowly walked over to the sauces where deana was. she was all "good Lord amanda! that's about to fall!" i laughed. then it happened. i reached for the garlic oil and all my onions and mushrooms toppled off and landed sporadically in all the sauces. deana immediately bursts out laughing and yelling, "i gotta pee, i gotta pee!" i on the other hand quietly say, "oops" then walk over and put more mushrooms and onions on top of my bowl as they keep falling into the other vegetables. the lady who was refilling the trays of food completely stopped and stared at me as if she wanted to say some sarcastic comment. instead of waiting for that comment, I proceeded to say, "don't worry i'll get those" as i steadied my hand with the bowl and reached for all the onions i spilt so i could throw them away. i wanted to laugh so hard but i knew that bowl of food would end up everywhere. talk about self control! i finally made it over to the counter where i slowly placed my food so nothing would fall. the people around just stared because i realized then i was able to use 2 bowls. then the chef came around and he obviously didn't care about my mushrooms and onions or what i had been through to get them on there because he came by and jerked that bowl right up and i swear i probably lost half of my food just in that swift motion! dinner turned out delicious and i have no regrets.

baby steps

I woke up this morning thinking today is a new day. Things are going to be different. Did they turn out to be different? Yes in some ways they did. This past week, I've been down. I guess in a slump. Wondering what's going on with me. What is God saying to me? Where is He taking me? Why is He reaching deep down in me tearing me inside out? What is my next step? Why can I not overcome obstacles in my life that seem to break me down and bring me to shame every day? Well, He wants something from me. He wants me. All of me. He wants to take those obstacles that make me stumble and bring me shame to replace them with Him. All of Him. Have I surrendered all of those obstacles to Him? Yes I have. Are they going to go away all of a sudden? No. It is a process of healing and restoration. He desires to take my brokeness and turn it into something beautiful. That brings me to tears just thinking about it. WOW! The God of this universe has chosen me to save, to love, to break down, to humble, to weed out, to build back up and to make beautiful!

I discovered today that God is moving me into the next phase of my life. Not sure where all it is taking me but I know atleast part of what it involves. Did I make steps towards the change that He's doing inside of me right now? Yes I did. I guess you could say it's baby steps. No the obstacles are not fully gone but the baby steps towards progress have began to take place. I hope that soon I can trust Him completely to take giant steps so that I can dive in to Him without anything holding me back.

caught in the act

at approximately 9:00 am i was working and received a pix message on my phone from my dear friend and roommate. i thought oh what could this be? i clicked open and there he was! chase was lying up on the couch wrapped in my warm fuzzy blanket with his head propped up on stef's pillow. WOW he had been caught, discovered! i cannot come to his defense anymore when stef gripes about how chase's hair somehow always gets up that far on the couch! no chase, i love you but you are guilty this time bud.

so it begins...

Well, I would first like to start out by saying I am not a writer by any means. I cannot sing, I cannot play a musical instrument, I cannot draw, I cannot paint, and I cannot write. I guess you could say I am not creative at all. Most who know me will agree. I guess you could ask, does she have any special talents or gifts? But don't let that fool you because my imagination is unstoppable and THAT is where my creativity comes in to play! I can also spell. Does that count? I was driving down the road the other day thinking about how if God knows I love music and I love to write then why can I not be good at them? maybe one of them? I love to write my thoughts down even though they make no sense sometimes. My mind goes from one thought to the other so quick that I don't let anything process. Then I have to analyze it all for it to make sense. So since that day when I thought that, I have discovered that no I might not be able to sing and I might not be able to write but I can talk! This is what I am good at! This will be used for my future! So for those of you who actually read this, please accept the fact that as my mind wanders, my fingers go with those thoughts so there is no telling what could end up on these pages. I hope this blog is something you enjoy reading. I hope to be able to truly express my thoughts and feelings on here. I hope to be able to take the most mundane stories and turn them into gold winning stories that you can laugh for several minutes over.

and so it begins... you are going to experience the uncensored, uncut life of Amanda Parsons.